Here are my nine most popular posts on Instagram from 2018:
I don’t like that my most popular picture was a… selfie. My parents deserve all the credit for creating my face. 35 years ago their deoxyribonucleic acids (that’s longhand for DNA) merged and 9 months later I happened. All I did was take a few snapshots at an arm’s length on the balcony on a sunny day and posted the best. (Besides, my coolest tattoos are on my lower half.)
Perhaps it was the thrill of seeing my hair out of braids? My hair didn’t do much growing this year, but I did.
Here are nine moments of glory from 2018.
- Pyrénées/Catalonia bike tour. For 13 days Yann and I rotated our legs for hours upon hours. We saw stuff, mainly French trees, French shrubbery, French vineyards, but also some of the aforementioned stuff, only Catalan. In addition to undergrowth, we saw a castle and witnessed a bunch of cats shit in a beach volleyball court. It was marvelous.
- Camping and cycling in Acadia National Park (Maine). There was a remarkable amount of roadkill here, but the park was breathtaking otherwise.
- Seeing all the beautiful custom bikes at the North American Handmade Bicycle Show in Hartford, Connecticut, and then making a side trip to Boston, Massachusetts. It was in Boston where I ate my first Chipotle burrito and learned that I make better burritos than Chipotle.
- My first double century bike ride. I accomplished this during a heat wave at an average speed of 23.9km/h. This seems unpleasant now that I’ve typed it, but it was indeed enjoyable. Come to think of it, I’ve seen a lot more roadkill ever since I started cycling with the bonus of going at a speed where I’m able to identify what the creature used to be.
- My springtime trip to Vancouver/Victoria, BC. I moved away from Victoria in 2008, and Vancouver in 2015. In 2018–a decade after leaving–I’ve decided that I’d like to return to the City of Newlyweds and Nearly Dead. I miss the sushi and being able to do stuff outdoors in March. The trip was just that good.
- Moving in with Yann. Now I feel like I have a family whenever I’d come home to find Yann and the cats all hanging out on the bed together. This will probably be the sweetest thing you’ll ever read on here so enjoy it.
- Used my art supplies. I may not be a productive artist, but I can say I’m proud of the few pieces that were created this year.
- Made hard candy for the first time. I’m not saying that there weren’t better highlights from the year, but I thought I’d take the chance to hype up my next post which will be about my successful foray into Wonkaism.
- The resurrection of my blog. I’m delighted to be oversharing with strangers online again.
Now, just as I’ve convinced you that I’ve become curiously optimistic, I’m going to list the nine moments of gloom from 2018:
- Fucking myself up on my bike. Technically, I fucked myself up OFF my bike. This crash gave me four new scars and gravel riding anxiety.
- Pestering Revenu Québec until they were willing to meet with me in person. To be fair they harassed me by mail for TWO years, saying I owed them more than $1,500 for making an unauthorized disability claim on two tax returns. Then they wouldn’t allow me to communicate with them in any way other than by phone so every other month they’d send me another letter showing me the interest on the money I owed them which, by the way, was far less than the amount they ended up spending to resolve this tomfoolery! You bet I’ll still be mad about this in 2019.
- Progress-stifling injuries. I keep getting closer to being able to project V6 problems at the bouldering gym only to be set back by a grab bag of injuries. This year, my biggest pain was my neck. I also have a new, exciting location for pain: my right shoulder. The same shoulder I landed on when I fell off my bike (see #1).
- The cat (Enfoiré) chewed my sports bra straps in half again. This year, he even went the extra mile and chose my favourite bra.
- Having Montréal drivers decide that my life isn’t precious enough when I’ve got a bicycle between my legs. “Cyclists blow through intersections all the time unscathed. WE MUST TAKE THE SCATHING INTO OUR OWN HANDS. LET’S MAKE THESE ECO-FRIENDLY BASTARDS FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES!” –English translation of Montréal drivers.
- The constant exposure to MAGAsters online. Why can’t Montréal drivers take their anger out on these people instead?
- Failing to find a doctor to replace my IUD which expired back in July. Even Info-Santé 811 (the provincial health information line) could not help me.
- Abled people’s resistance to universal design and not understanding that their solutions to the issues faced by disabled people have already been considered by disabled people themselves. “Hello, I am an abled person! May I introduce you to… the metal straw! Now that I’ve single-handedly solved the straw fiasco, may I introduce you to my dick, which I expect you to suck.”
- A friend’s passing.
There will never be a year where absolutely nothing goes wrong. As I’ve aged, I’ve learned to not let the negative moments ruin all 365 days of a year. I am confident that fewer days were ruined this year than last.
To wrap up a year where more than 18 events, in fact, took place, here are nine pictures from 2018 that haven’t already been shared on social media:
I love my step-cats. I love Yann. I like to stay hydrated and eat Mickey Mouse pancakes. And I have incorporated tiny hats into my wardrobe.
2019 is going to be the year of tiny pants and coastal living.
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