Ask me about my cherry tree.

We have a cherry tree outside our place. Last year it was just a tree. No cherries. Naturally, I’ve been going around bragging about my new cherry tree even though I wouldn’t touch the cherries. The tree has some sort of infestation of the insect variety. A friend told me yesterday, “It’s a bad year for Gypsy Moths.” 

I think she meant good: they’re clearly well-fed. Apparently, I have a friend who is an authority on Gypsy moths. Meanwhile, I can barely identify trees.

Unlike me, small critters are finding the cherries to be edible, so the tree has been attracting House Finches (I’m not good at identifying birds either: I had to google) and squirrels to ogle at. Squirrels are among the cutest animals to watch eat. This cherry tree may not provide me with fruit; instead, it provides me with entertainment.

I love our new cherry tree.

Oh, and I have a job.

What a wild ride. First, I have a job, then find out that I’m about to lose it unless I reapply, so I reapply. Then, while waiting for the confirmation that I still have it, I get laid off. Then, I get hired again, but get my casual position back, a position that was supposed to be eliminated. Finally, it’s like, “Congratulations, you have a job for real now.”

I’m happy. I get sick days, and coverage for assorted health-related practitioners that our famed universal health care system doesn’t recognize. I learned two years ago that in the UK, people get dental and optometry coverage. We don’t do that in Canada. We make sure our poor people stay humble by being easily identifiable based on their teeth.

The sick days (which are formally called care days, but I like to imagine a skateboarder shrieking “Sick days!”) would’ve been useful… two days ago. And the day before that. I am now a Migraine Sufferer. My migraines were so prolonged that I quit drinking because of them. It’s been seven months since I last had a drink. So, it displeases me quite a bit that I still need to deal with migraines every once in a while even though I’m a teetotaler.

I’m glad I’m deaf and don’t have to deal with sensitivity to sound on top of sensitivity to light. I filled my two unpaid sick days at home with back-to-back naps and depressing documentary watching: Disclosure and Athlete A. Not back-to-back though: I watched Eric André’s stand up special and Unorthodox in-between. Random, I know. Unorthodox was so good, though. The scene where Esty uses Google for the first time and asks, “Is there a God?” was adorable.

So, I got tagged on here. Not like when wildlife gets an ear piercing, but like when someone publicly orders you to answer their questions.

Hunida, here are my answers:

What was the last meal you ate? Where did you eat it?

A pair of chocolate chip encrusted flour and sugar-based pucks on the sofa. I have a chocolate chip cookie recipe memorized and mastered! I am incredible.

Do you write in a private journal or diary? If not now, did you ever use to?

My thing was sharing a paper journal with a friend. I’ve done this with three different friends: the original journal was created in 1995 or 1996, and the last time I joint-journalled was 2010 or 2011. We’d alternate ownership upon completion, but I am not sure where these journals are right now. Before moving to Montréal, I gave Dad one small box to store away for me, which I was planning on collecting the next time I found myself in Vancouver. But, Dad forgot where he put it.

I hope it’ll turn up eventually: most of my photos from my teen years were in that box.

Where would you like to spend your honeymoon and which activities would you like to do? If you’ve already had yours, where did you go and what did you do?

This implies that I wish to get married someday. I do not. I find the concept of marriage unappealing. If Yann and I were to spend the next four years together, I’d hope it’s because we still love each other and enjoy each other’s company, and not because we’re legally obligated to unless we get desperate enough to get a lawyer involved.

But, what is the difference between a honeymoon and travelling with your partner? We’d go cycle touring somewhere or do the W Trek in Chilean Patagonia. Either way, we’d sleep in a tiny tent.

Is there a certain “type” of person you always find yourself drawn to? (Both friendship wise and romantically).

I like people with surprising knowledge, like my Gypsy Moth Expert pal. I find randomness specifically sexy.

What is ONE thing you *must* do every single day?

Go into Incognito Mode to Google something really goofy.

Serious answer: floss. Gotta compensate for the lack of regular dental care somehow.

Do you enjoy shopping or is it a chore, something you try to get done as quick as possible?

It’s a chore. I get new stuff, and then have to figure out a place for the thing. I’m a compulsive declutterer, so it gives me anxiety.

Are you tall, short, or average? Is the rest of your family around the same or is there someone who is extra tall/short?

Taller than average, yet not tall: 5’6″.

My extended family is super tall. My parents were the runt of their litter, and I am the runt of my parents’ litter. Even my niece and nephews are much taller than me! I grew up wanting to be tall and was very disappointed when my Dutch genes failed to materialize.

What does your handwriting look like? Feel free to upload a photo!

I uploaded this two years ago.

It still looks the same, although I’m now less likely to use a blue ballpoint pen. Gelly Roll pens are my bag.

Is there an old photo or item that is super special to you, that you will always keep?

From my Gypsy Moth Expert friend:

I had this plushy that was a conglomeration of multiple plushys:

It was the one thing that I enjoyed for a while, but didn’t want to keep forever. This friend ended up adopting it, and then I got it back in the form of a painting.

What a gift!

Do you have a pair of shoes that are your “go-to” or do you switch them up to match your outfits?

It’s a shame because I love unique shoes, yet my go-to is one of the blandest footwear in existence: Evolv Cruzers.

What do you blog on? A laptop, desktop, phone, tablet?

Marijuana, usually. With a laptop to capture my stoned thoughts and feelings.

I don’t have many readers who also have a blog themselves, so I’m going to pass up the exciting opportunity to ask questions that won’t get answered. I’ll say this though: how one reacts to the questions I ask has been an excellent way for me to determine whether they’re a potential pal.

“WTF? What kind of question is that?” will have me put you in the “No” column.