Category: Vancouver

Forget Jebus.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

A month ago, Kristen texted me requesting my improv acting skills—a skill I did not know I had. This was to take place at Vancouver Community College, and I’d been looking for an excuse to visit the mainland. I didn’t realize that the date was right before the long weekend when everybody’s hyped about crossing the Strait of Georgia to get to the island or vice versa. Good Friday enthusiasts are no good.

Alright, I’ll leave before the long weekend ferry rush. Still, travelling to the ferry terminal right after work didn’t float my boat, and it’d been a while since I’d taken the seaplane. That was the plan until a co-worker pointed out Helijet was having a sale: $137. I’d never been in a helicopter!

Continue reading “Forget Jebus.” →

Halfway there.

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

I’m officially middle-aged. Let the cloud yelling commence!

But, no, I am more likely to sit on a park bench with my lightly creased middle-aged friends drinking peyote juice, giggling all the way to death’s doorstep.

Let me get a few grievances out of the way:

-My birthday was yesterday. Not enough people congratulated me on my life being half over. If this was you, please hang your head in shame.

-November is easily the worst month of the year. Cold, rainy, and mostly dark. If it was you who invented November, go fuck yourself.

-BSOs. $300 isn’t pocket change, but it can not reasonably be used to purchase a bicycle. BSO = Bicycle Shaped Object. Don’t have bicycle money? Buy a skateboard: they’re safer and more reliable than BSOs.

-$9 for one pound of strawberries at Fairway Market? It’s still a better deal than BSOs, but I guess bananas are the only fruit I’ll eat for the foreseeable future. 79 cents a pound, bitch.

-It takes almost two hours to get to White Rock from the Tsawwassen ferry terminal by bus. 35km! Probably faster to get there by skateboard.

Continue reading “Halfway there.” →

Unlocking the secret of mouth-watering. Or not.

~ Lkvy ~ 4 Comments

I’ve been off the bike for over a week and off the walls for about as long. With three days off work, I should be scratching that itch. Alas, the itch comes from the healing tattoo on the back of my right thigh. If you’re an Instacrapper, the new ink can be found on jessparetattooer’s account: it’s the Tiger Lily.

Alternative, low-impact plans for my extended weekend:

Continue reading “Unlocking the secret of mouth-watering. Or not.” →