It’s still easier to make hats than new friends.

Three and a half years go, I knitted my first scarf. Since then, I have knitted four toques. I nearly finished a fifth in the time it took to drive from Montréal to Vancouver, but when I got to the stitch decreases for the crown, I decided my handiwork was a waste of fancy yarn and unravelled the whole thing.

I’ve started something new, but it is not going well. Reading a knitting pattern is a skill I have yet to master. It goes something like this:

1: K1, P2, K2, K1togbl2, *K2, P2; rep from * across, end K2.

2: K1below, P3

3: Alternate between rows 1 and 2, until you realize that you’ve spent hours doing the wrong thing, and clench your jaw so hard in anger that your teeth shatter.

Ah, what a relaxing hobby.

Continue reading “It’s still easier to make hats than new friends.”

PSA.

I know, you didn’t think you’d get any useful information out of reading my blog but, here goes: bicycles are for riding, not locking up outside.

On occasion, customers will come into the bike shop to have a stuck u-lock removed. Every time, we’ve been successful in getting it off, either with bolt cutters or with the angle grinder.

Today, a customer came in with a Kryptonite Evolution u-lock stuck to his bike frame. The u-lock wasn’t skewered through the rear wheel, which made the request to have it cut off not suspicious.

Yann agreed to do it: he had never cut through a Kryptonite brand u-lock and wanted to try. It’s supposedly one of the more secure u-locks on the market.

“If this takes more than fifteen minutes, we’ll have to charge you.”

Continue reading “PSA.”

Three dozen.

In 2009, after having spent my teens exclusively on desktop PCs, I bought my first laptop.

I am typing on this very laptop right now: its successor is on the way to the ASUS HQ for repairs. The screen was flickering at random. I learned to live with the flickering somewhat but figured I needed to send it back before its one-year warranty expired.

I made this photo my desktop wallpaper before packing it up:

Continue reading “Three dozen.”

So you think you’re open-minded?

In 2002, a deaf friend came for a visit and stayed with me in Vancouver. During that time, the roll of film that I had dropped off at the drugstore a few days earlier had been printed and was ready for pick-up. (The excitement of seeing your photo prints has been taken from us since the popularization of digital cameras.) I wasted no time and dragged my guest to the drugstore. We sat on the curb out front to look through the photos, but before I opened the envelope, I warned her that the images were not for the faint of heart.

She’s one my best friends. Surely she’d approach this with an open mind, I thought.

“What the fuck?!” was her response.

Continue reading “So you think you’re open-minded?”