3% failure rate.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

A few months before my June 15, 2024 accident I watched the first season of Netflix’s Tour de France Unchained. The first episode revealed that a rider had a horrific accident in 2020 in which he was knocked off balance by another rider while sprinting for the finish line. The rider, Fabio Jakobsen, crashed into the metal barriers at 80km/h, crushing his nose and mouth. In his interviews for the docuseries, he’s already gone through reconstructive surgery and had all “his” teeth. (Graphic–but not bloody–pictures of the work done on his jaw can be seen here.)

On the ambulance ride to the hospital, I remember wiggling my toes and feeling relieved that I probably hadn’t broken anything beyond my teeth. I believed the magic of modern dentistry would take care of me.

It’s been 22 months, and my dental journey is still ongoing. September 11, 2025 was supposed to be my lucky day. Then it got pushed to March 12th. The installation of the final crown didn’t happen then either. Here’s my story:

Continue reading “3% failure rate.” →

La dolce far niente.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

I’m back to using my e-reader, which means I can read by the light of my mandle. You’d think it’d create the right ambience for works of erotica, except the object of desire in the book I am currently reading, Sky Daddy by Kate Folk, is not human. The protagonist is horny for airplanes.

Am I reading… airplane smut? I am! And I’m enjoying it!

I started the 352-page book on Tuesday, and already I’m 83% done. I picked up this book because I was in the mood for something weird, and it certainly has ticked that box.

My next date with an airplane has been scheduled for June 29th. An Airbus A350-1000 will transport me and my bike to London, UK, where I’ll have five days to make up for the sights I missed out on during my first visit in 2022, which saw me stricken down with COVID. Airfare for this upcoming trip cost me dearly, thanks to the surge in jet fuel prices brought on by the Middle East crisis.

What a privileged thing to bitch about, eh?

Continue reading “La dolce far niente.” →

What’s an aardvark?

~ Lkvy ~ 2 Comments

Yesterday, my bare legs proclaimed the arrival of spring. Step aside, Fred la marmotte, Laura in shorts: the true herald of spring.

It only counts if I stay in shorts from morning until evening, and yesterday was the big day. The snap peas, radishes, lettuce seeds, and kale starts have been planted in the garden.

Indeed, the weather was also nice enough for a bike ride, yet I opted to go for a run, bringing my one-week total to 72km. What did my Garmin coach, Lola, have to say about this? Nothing, except she decreased my estimated VO₂ Max.

I should care about this exactly as much as you do. Yet, my ego burns.

At the end of yesterday’s run, my left hamstring felt a little off, so I’ve taken a true rest day today.

This allows me to share all the masterpieces from the game, Drawing from Memory. Daniel and Alexa were the first to show up last night. Alexa presented me with a lovely “compensation package,” which she’d previously mentioned contained something handmade.

I feel like I should learn some magic spells. The Blacktongue Thief contains a lot of that: I don’t have a mini-review to share just yet, as I have about 40 more pages to go, but the overall vibe of the story reminds me of The Princess Bride.

While we waited for the other opponents to arrive, the three of us did a warm up round. The first prompt selected from the deck: Horse.

Here’s my 60-second horse:

Continue reading “What’s an aardvark?” →

The insatiable Lola.

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

In case anyone missed it, I’ve named the AI coach that lives in my Garmin Forerunner Lola.

Since my first full day with Lola at my side, March 19, I’ve averaged 19,679 steps a day, which I think is excellent. But she’s gone from asking me to do 10,000 per day to 20,390. At this rate, I’m going to be expected to walk forever by the end of the year.

Besides, once this shitty Smarch weather dies (there was frost this morning… FROST), I’ll switch to cycling as my primary activity. Or golf? Apparently, Lola knows a thing or two about golf.

On the sedentary side of my life, while Kristen continues lapping me on StoryGraph, I’ve finished my second science fiction novel of the year: Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky.

Continue reading “The insatiable Lola.” →

Buttmunsch.

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

This morning, around 7, I found myself in a tug-of-war match with my late mom. We’re both pinching opposite edges of a tiny cookie, pulling it toward ourselves with all our might. The battle ended with me falling backward, empty-handed, as Mom emerged victorious, popping the chocolate snowball cookie into her mouth.

At 7:32am, I open my eyes, and Lola greets me with my morning report, commending me for an excellent sleep score of 92. Thanks for the affirmation, Lola. When it comes to my training regimen, however, she is not as reassuring.

This Monday’s 50-minute workout requires going at full sprint for 8 minutes, repeated three times, with 3-minute recoveries in between! Yesterday’s workout was more manageable, but when my pace slowed on the steep portion of the Chip Trail Loop around Cedar Hill Golf Course, my watch buzzed. I glanced down at Lola:

TOO SLOW

Continue reading “Buttmunsch.” →