Feeling prickly.

All the radishes from the second round of seeds have been yanked from the garden. Those that were left either cracked or turned spongy inside. I’d missed the opportunity to harvest them at their peak. The garden now looks a little tragic, with only the tomato plants showing any promise.

A couple of metres away in the alley, there is a massive blackberry bramble that I’ve been snacking on post-run. There are few scents I find more magical than blackberries on a warm day. As usual, the plumpest berries are high up and well out of reach, so I messaged the landlord requesting to borrow his pole rope pruner, which I’d initially called “the long grabber stick”. Armed with this rusty magic wand, I returned to the bush to grasp at the juiciest of juicy-looking clusters.

The pole rope pruner wasn’t the game changer I’d expected it to be. The berries of beyond were so ripe that they rained down on me when I tugged at the thorny stems, totally missing the bowl they were meant to go in. Half an hour later, I walked away from the bramble in triumph with a large bowl of berries, bleeding legs, and purple splotches on my face.

I’d do it again, but in pants.

It’s been almost two weeks since my return from Slovenia, and I am still dealing with a severe case of the post-trip blues. I’d spent three weeks conversing in sign language daily. Not even in ASL, but BSL: British Sign Language. Before this trip, the extent of my BSL was the manual alphabet and a few signs/phrases such as “good morning”. Now I know over 170 signs. I’ve entered them in an Excel spreadsheet with the intention of reviewing what I’ve learned once a month, and adding to the list with the help of the online BSL dictionary.

Continue reading “Feeling prickly.”

Forget Jebus.

A month ago, Kristen texted me requesting my improv acting skills—a skill I did not know I had. This was to take place at Vancouver Community College, and I’d been looking for an excuse to visit the mainland. I didn’t realize that the date was right before the long weekend when everybody’s hyped about crossing the Strait of Georgia to get to the island or vice versa. Good Friday enthusiasts are no good.

Alright, I’ll leave before the long weekend ferry rush. Still, travelling to the ferry terminal right after work didn’t float my boat, and it’d been a while since I’d taken the seaplane. That was the plan until a co-worker pointed out Helijet was having a sale: $137. I’d never been in a helicopter!

Continue reading “Forget Jebus.”

When to yell at a deaf person.

I feel like the increase in demand for instant gratification has stripped people of the patience to communicate with me.

I had a dream this morning about getting into an altercation with two unfamiliar old ladies who insisted on communicating with me verbally through their masks. I responded, on paper, reminding them that I, too, would love to communicate seamlessly with the public, but because I dared to get sick as a child, I don’t get to do this. Think about it, I continued scribbling, you can’t deal with what I have to do 99% of the time, for five minutes. One of the ladies started bleeding at the fingertip and scribbled her response in blood, accusing me of being disrespectful, thus summoning the manager.

What a sinister bitch!

But that was a dream. In reality, I’ve had many people simply walk away from me upon learning that I can’t understand them even if they start yelling at me from behind their masks. The correct response from me is: “Fuck them.” But when it starts happening regularly, there are some days where I go, “Fuck me, right?”

I don’t like that I’m a misanthropist, but it’s hard not to be when you’re confronted with rude, ignorant people routinely. On the contrary, when strangers do something as simple as sign “thank you,” it brings me joy. This is an everyday interaction most people are accustomed to, but for me, it’s like, “Wow, you’re treating me like everybody else. You’re practically the kindest stranger I’ve interacted with all day. If not all week.”

Continue reading “When to yell at a deaf person.”

The opposite of outrage isn’t inrage.

Hi!

I’m a former hearing person. I was born in Canada, and grew up in a middle-class hearing family. I’m also white, straight, and cis. This means my life began with pretty much just one disadvantage: being female. Oh, and being an infant, but I outgrew that horrid phase.

Then I got deathly ill.

Do you know what happens when a cute little blonde three-year-old gets sick in Canada? Everything that could possibly be done to save my life, was done… and at no expense to my family. In the process of saving my life, though, the drugs that were administered destroyed my hearing.

Continue reading “The opposite of outrage isn’t inrage.”