Photo flurry.

The most important part of Christmas is my least favourite. It’s not Jesus because this Atheist likes him more than spending time with family, either mine or my partner’s. I do have a cold heart (you’ll see in a bit), but it’s because attending these gatherings as the lone deaf person always ends the same. I first had this realization when I bought a flight “home” for Christmas the first year I lived in Calgary, only to realize that my family found it too burdensome to include me. I came into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find that everybody was having breakfast without me.

The next year, I spent it with my then-partner and his family, and it was even worse because I had to act like I was enjoying myself. I could tell my family that they sucked for not including me, but I had to be gracious towards my in-laws no matter what. I was there out of sheer obligation. My former in-laws had mostly been friendly, and there’d always be a family member or two who made a real effort to include me. Still, if the entire family doesn’t try, it’s not worth it for me.

If that doesn’t sound caustic enough to you, when Dad found the missing box of personal Christmas ornaments that I had spent a few years searching for, I told him I didn’t want them anymore.

A wooden elf ornament with a hole for its mouth. It hangs from a branch by its neck.
This was my favourite ornament. Its tongue sticks out when you push the top of its hat. I thought the noose was a nice touch.

I acknowledged that I had more negative memories of Christmastime with the family than not. It sounds cold, but it was the first time I’d ever admitted this to a family member. For years, I faked delight and marveled at the fact that mincemeat tarts didn’t contain meat. I’m so good at pretending I’m enjoying myself that these gatherings have ended with someone saying something along the lines of, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t stay home?”

No!

I prefer to voluntarily alienate myself, so this post is proof that I had a fun Christmas solo!

Continue reading “Photo flurry.”

Dec 8, 2010 Throwback blog post.

What I like about the less distant throwback posts is how the writing isn’t any different from my current stuff. My personality had been established, whereas the posts I wrote as a teenager were sociopathic and somewhat unpleasant to re-read. Empathy changes a person.

I still don’t enjoy doing Christmassy stuff at work. I agreed to bring cookies next Tuesday because I want people to like me, and the cookie recipe will make people forget about my otherwise bah humbug attitude. I’ll wait until Christmas Sweater Day to disappoint them by wearing a tasteful sweater.

Anyway, could you’ve guessed the below post was written ten years ago if I hadn’t mentioned it?

Continue reading “Dec 8, 2010 Throwback blog post.”

Dry January came early.

On Christmas Day, Yann and I hiked up Mt. Doug (elevation 225m) and passed people in t-shirts. From the top, we had a 360° view of the Capital Regional District and its total absence of snow. White Christmases are overrated.

Yann, dressed in all-black and carrying a large daypack walks down a muddy trail on the side of Mount Doug.

Yann made an especially unnecessary observation when pointed out the observatory, which was obvious.

In the evening, we were served a Christmas meal by neither my nor Yann’s family, but Kristina’s family which meant there was significantly more signing involved than what I’m used to. Most of the time, THIS is what family dinners are like for me.

It would’ve been the perfect Christmas EXCEPT…

Continue reading “Dry January came early.”