Less than one week to go to write posts from my drafting table in this spacious living room.Continue reading “Things aren’t always what they seem.”
Childhood Halloween costumes:
- Sad clown. You can’t tell by this photo, but there was a teardrop painted on my face.
- Pebbles Flintstone.
- Blue-faced witch because the face paint packaging was labelled green when it was in fact blue.
Maggie was more surprised than she should have been when I revealed that I’d once been a cheerleader. We’d spotted zombie cheerleaders walking down the driveway of a mansion to collect their fun-sized treats when I made this revelation. I meant I’d been a cheerleader for Halloween.
You can be anything for Halloween, except for someone else’s culture.
Sadly, my costume this year was unrecognizable to all but one person. No wonder nobody could guess what I was making based on the photo in the previous blog post.
On October 31st 2021, I went as:Continue reading “To err is subhuman.”
The good news is that I have invested my life savings in a Liberian mining venture!
If this were true, my posts would be more enthralling. I have to use clickbait-y titles like “Moist Dreams” to entice readers so that they can learn that I sleep with a humidifier turned on. I’ve been waking up feeling dewy fresh, and chaste! I need to ask my landlords to show me how to use the cast iron gas stove to warm up the living room; then, I’ll be in Comfort Central. I’ve been doing most of my riding indoors this month anyway.Continue reading “Seasonal hermit.”
HEY EVERYBODY! Thanks for your continued interest in my life.
It’s nice still being relevant. I have also updated my home decor. After six years of sleeping under the stars, I’ve retired my ratty galaxy print duvet cover, of which its rattiness was accelerated not by rats but cats. When I bought it, I’d just moved to Montréal with only a sleeping bag as a bedding option and needed something quickly. The galaxy print stood out among all the beige and floral options, so it made its way into my new home. While I hauled my kitschy bedding back to the west coast in 2019, I thankfully didn’t need to get rid of any mustache or bacon accouterments that were the craze in the 2010s.
Anyway, what thrilling duvet cover have I chosen to sleep under for the next 5-10 years?Continue reading “Saccharine dystopia.”
I debated adding a spoiler alert at the beginning of my last post, then I remembered: you can’t spoil true events. Without the documentary-style editing, Wild Wild Country could’ve passed for a Wes Anderson film.
Let’s meet some more characters.