Yesterday, when I mentioned the guy who interrupted my footlong chowing session at Subway with an unwanted strip show, I had to dig through my archives for the post. It took a while, as I’d archived my posts by the month. As I originally lived in Victoria for about four years, I had to sift through about forty months before finally finding the entry, and… it was underwhelming. If you wish to be underwhelmed, I can email it to you.
During my journey through the past, I uncovered some doozies. I spit out my tea when I read, “Has anybody noticed how it’s the bitchy girls who like Winnie the Pooh?”
Past me slays Now me.
The throwback post I’m sharing today isn’t about Winnie the Pooh or bitchy girls, but my transition from having a chaotic roommate to being the chaotic roommate.
Ok, Bezos, you win. I’ve upcycled one of #304’s empty Amazon boxes as a bedside table. I get to roll out of my bed without injuring myself for a week as my bed frame was disassembled and moved to my future home on Tuesday.
I sleep a safe 11″ off the floor. I can make do with this for a few nights. The camp chair as a couch situation, however, is getting old. Every time I go camping with this chair hereon, I will have indoor memories associated with it. I’ve sullied my camp chair by turning it into makeshift living room furniture for a month. Yup.
I was supposed to have the day off yesterday to do fun things like clean the oven. Instead, my boss summoned me to work. It was a bike shop shift, which I haven’t gotten many of since October. Getting paid to work on bikes seemed like a more pleasant alternative to huffing oven cleaner fumes.
I have today off to prep the place for the next tenant. I’m going to hide messages of encouragement everywhere so that they can be like, “Awww… but also creepy.”
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU IN CASE NO ONE HAS.
Tomorrow, I get my new teeth installed, or, if you prefer, the more regal version: get my teeth crowned. I’ll get to bite into food again, but with much apprehension now that they have a price tag attached to them.
I forgot to bring a fork and knife to work for my leftover pizza, so I had to shred it into small bits with my hands like a raccoon. Nobody else was in the break room while I did this, nor did anyone walk in on me doing this. Otherwise, I would have an obligation to explain that my teeth are plastic, effectively making myself seem more insane than initially suspected.
Besides, when I tell people I have plastic teeth, they probably recall the scene in Dennis the Menace where he breaks Mr. Wilson’s dentures and swaps the front teeth for Chiclets.
In truth, they look normal. Disappointingly ordinary, even. Only when you see me eat will you know something isn’t right.
As for today’s mini Throwback post: My blog posts were more frequent but often less fleshed out, and this one is an example of that.
What I like about the less distant throwback posts is how the writing isn’t any different from my current stuff. My personality had been established, whereas the posts I wrote as a teenager were sociopathic and somewhat unpleasant to re-read. Empathy changes a person.
I still don’t enjoy doing Christmassy stuff at work. I agreed to bring cookies next Tuesday because I want people to like me, and the cookie recipe will make people forget about my otherwise bah humbug attitude. I’ll wait until Christmas Sweater Day to disappoint them by wearing a tasteful sweater.
Anyway, could you’ve guessed the below post was written ten years ago if I hadn’t mentioned it?
Although my former domain, lkvy.com, had been killed off by 2009, I switched to LiveJournal for a few years. When I realized that the last of my friends had abandoned their LiveJournal accounts, I started using Flickr as a photo journaling platform, adding titles and descriptions to every photo uploaded. That is until Flickr changed their layout to hide the titles and descriptions. I agree that the current layout is more aesthetically pleasing, but it was hiding all the work I had put into curating my life. Fuck!
Oh, and, despite uploading atrocities like this, my Flickr collection has more than half a million views. It’s baffling. But! I’m finally uploading the rest of my 2019 Patagonia trip photos. I think all the photos from the Valdes Peninsula portion of the trip are up now. So, you can ohh and ahh at them after you read something I wrote on my LiveJournal eight years ago.