The Incident.

I like an excuse to eat chocolate for breakfast.

This is the dark chocolate & red berries variety of Love Crunch granola. The red berries are mere specks. The dark chocolate… is not there. I looked at the window in the bag, but I did not see a single piece. I looked inside the bag and shook the bag too.

There is no chocolate! Sometimes, when things like this happen, I just take the L because I don’t like dealing with customer service. Fortunately, the folks at Nature’s Path took me seriously.

Albeit a little too seriously.

“…We deeply regret that your purchase did not meet your expectations. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to respond. Please accept our sincere apologies for this incident. The satisfaction of our customers is very important to us, and we hope you will continue to try our products.“

Deep regrets? Sincere apologies? Incident?

It’s not that serious: mail me my coupon and I’ll be on my merry way. I only sent the photo above and a short comment explaining the situation: “My bag of dark chocolate and red berries Love Crunch did not have any dark chocolate.”

That’s it.

I worked in online customer service for 6 (or 7?) years. There are people who start their customer service interactions with an angry tone.

One of my three newest fancy bitch candles arrived with an off-centre wick. I decided to ignore it until it kept tunnelling. I emailed customer service a friendly email telling them I loved the scents but received a dud.

Now this fancy bitch has another fancy bitch candle on the way. I told them to surprise me, too. Maybe I’ll even ask my roommate to take the candle out of its package and light it for me so that I can guess the scent. They’ve helped me become a little more meditative. Sometimes, I just sit on the couch, smelling the air.

After about 200 hours of gameplay, I’ve come to realize that “seed” is an euphemism for shit. I don’t know why neither the shape nor the “distinct smell” tipped me off sooner.

I’ve started riding almost as much as I play this game: 7 hours this week and 8 last. At some point during today’s ride, I butt-downloaded the AirBnb and VRBO apps. My sweaty back opened the Google Play store and downloaded the recommended apps. From now on, I’ll ensure my screen faces out when I’m in my jersey pocket!