Relevant Simpsons reference:
Yeah, this is going to be an unfortunate post.
TL;DR: People who can’t take “No” for an answer give me the ick, especially men.
Glossary for non-cyclists:
- KOM/QOM: King/Queen of the Mountain. This title is awarded to the person with the fastest time on a given segment.
- Segment: A portion of the ride with invisible start and finish lines as determined by GPS. The results aren’t as accurate as RFID (chip timing, as it is known in sanctioned races).
- Strava: A social media app for fit people. It’s one of the more positive social media apps out there, but it is not free of trash.
In 2020, a riding buddy, Joe, initiated a Covid KOM-petition to liven things up for the cycling community while we were expected to practice social distancing. I didn’t participate that year as I didn’t know about it until it was over. Since the Strava segments used in Joe’s Covid KOM-petition were still up, I still had the chance to see how I’d stack up against some of Victoria’s strongest women cyclists.
I fared quite well.
The KOM-petition didn’t return for 2021, but by 2023, someone else had taken over organizing these. This time, I had the opportunity to participate while it was ongoing. By partaking in the revival, I met a few new folks to ride with and explored parts of the Capital Regional District that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Little did I know that by participating that year, I would become forever bound to the competition. I often rode with the organizer on Thursdays, as he was one of the few people I knew who were available during the day. The route for these Thursday rides included his “seggies” (UGH), so I rolled with it even though I wouldn’t have done so voluntarily.
By 2024, I became more interested in participating in club rides. I rode with the Victoria Wheelers on Saturday mornings, and with the TripleShot super-early birds on unspecified weekday mornings. There were some awesome rides, but overall, I didn’t find either club inclusive. TripleShot was better than the Wheelers, but the 6am start time for these rides was too much for me.
I explained to the organizer of the Strava competition that I had different goals for the year, but he wouldn’t let it go. I convinced myself to interpret his pushiness as encouragement. Then, mid-June, I got hit by a car and had a totally valid reason for being absent from the weekly results. A week or two after my accident, the organizer mentions my accident in his weekly report on Strava, declaring that I was “doing well” and that they “hope I’ll be back crushing those segments soon” or whatever.
When I read that, I thought, “Huh? I never said I was doing well. I’VE BEEN EATING THROUGH A STRAW, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.”
If his standard for “doing well” meant being physically able to ride a bicycle, then I guess I was doing well.
By 2025, I was doing well by *my* standards, but my enthusiasm for this competition still hadn’t returned. In fact, I was getting fed up with being hassled to participate. The organizer, for some reason, required folks to sign up to participate, so I just didn’t. I rode with the organizer one Thursday, and we hit up the *dry heave* “seggies” because it was better than pouting and stamping my feet. After this ride, I told the organizer I was uninterested in the prizes, since I work at a bike shop and already have access to industry discounts and other freebies. I was included in the results ANYWAY.
I wasn’t even doing club rides anymore because I gave it a try and decided it wasn’t for me. Neither TripleShot nor the Wheelers harassed me about my absence. None of that, “BUT YOU HAD FUN ON THESE RIDES, RIGHT?” bullshit.
This year, I pre-emptively declared my lack of interest in the competition by LEAVING THE STRAVA GROUP aka
DROPPING A GIANT HINT.
I got asked again. I pointed out that I’d left the group and took the time to explain how my goals for this year were different. I had favourite Strava segments that I liked to go hard on to see how I stack up against my former self.
“But maybe you’ll find some new favourite segments! And you seem to like competition, isn’t it fun to go head-to-head with others?”
“Oh! Oh, oh, yeah… yeah, that’s right. I thought I didn’t want to do it anymore, but you make excellent points! I’m so glad someone else can remind me what I like.” …is not how I responded. This was my actual response:
“No.”
I’ve told him several times, in several different ways, that I was no longer interested. At this point, my diplomacy had run dry. What more did he need? A PowerPoint presentation? An interpretative dance? Another man to clarify what a woman could mean by “I no longer wish to participate in your vanity project”?
“Could’ve fooled me, seemed like you enjoyed it when we did it.”
I thought about sending the gif version Homer’s quote, but I don’t like arguing. When I’m already in a sour mood, I have no desire to make pickles: I want to return to being cool as a cucumber.
Coincidentally, I’d arranged the alphabet magnets on the fridge to spell out Homer’s sexist quote. I’d done this last Sunday in the spirit of International Women’s Day for the love of irony. It is one of the most over-the-top things Homer has said in the series: I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it.
The next morning, as I was grabbing something out of the fridge, I had a rude realization as I faced the cheekily festooned fridge door. Instead of smirking at the ridiculousness of it all, I cringed at its relevance.
As a former therapist liked to emphasize, “Some people just have no insight.”
I took out my phone and blocked his number. I blocked him on Strava. I blocked his email. Block. Block. Block. There is no point in arguing with someone who has repeatedly proven they won’t listen, and because I don’t want to listen to them either, I block them.
I know what I like, and it isn’t this fucking guy.
squaremeat.com 