Sometimes I take it personally that I was born in the most miserable month of the year (based on my latitude). I might’ve even been the result of Valentine’s Day plans gone awry. Ick.
On Halloween, I became Oogie Boogie. I identify with his hatred for Christmas.
Nothing screams unemployed bike mechanic more than this:
With Halloween approaching, I thought a touch of gore would be apt. I wanted to look as if I’d just gotten through disembowelling a large wild animal in search of the tastiest hunk of offal. Normal Halloween fantasies, you know?
Continue reading “Attention: I enjoy attention.”So far, I have been correct in my assumption that the folks who overlook the self-checkout area in the evenings exercise diligence in proportionate to their pay grade. Yes, you be the zombies so that I can continue my vampiric grocery shopping habits. Thanks for not giving a shit about me ringing up my blood oranges as small navel oranges.
Continue reading “To be weeb or weird.”I have a new embroidery project underway. This involves hours of pushing and pulling a needle through fabric. It is meditative, and it has the added bonus of creating something tangible. Beautiful, even.
The three maxims currently guiding me, in all my granola-ness, are:
“Don’t take anything personally.” (aka the second of The Four Agreements.)
“You gotta do what makes you happy.” Quote by Leif from Animal Crossing, although I am sure he stole that quote from someone else. That shady fucker. (Just kidding, he’s cute and I love him.)
“Anything is a better use of your time than doomscrolling.”
Continue reading “Micro stabs to the heart.”Prompted by my unemployment: I may begin operating on vampire time when gathering groceries from Jim Pattison’s Pantry. It’s not that I’m intimidated by my celery stalker: I find her insufferable to such an extent that I’m willing to go out in weather like this under the cover of night to avoid interacting with her:
I HAVE A PASSION FOR AVOIDING PEOPLE.
Continue reading “There’s even an emoji for that: 💯”
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