Does anybody else react with sarcasm in place of cursing when something goes wrong?
One of the wires of the whisk attachment for my hand mixer came loose, spraying flecks of butter-saturated brown sugar everywhere. “Oh, fun! A mess!” I exclaimed. It was already past ten at night. I’d misjudged how long that evening’s baking project was going to take, and now I had a mess to clean up too.
Along with this after-dark banana bread production, I’d also powered on my food processor for some hummus. My landlords went out of town for a few days, so I used their absence as an opportunity to raise a ruckus!
“If a tree falls in a forest and only I am around, does it make a sound?”
Check out the progress I’ve made on my tub of blueberries:
It’s underwhelming, I know. Two reasons I still have this many blueberries:
The second vaccination did not make me ill.
I haven’t smoked cannabis in almost two weeks.
On Saturday–the day of my shot–a colleague asked me how I was doing. I told her I was booked for my second dose in the afternoon and that I was worried that I’d be among those who get super sick since my first shot didn’t go so well.
Her: “I don’t mean to scare you, but I spent three days vomiting after getting my second shot.”
It was shaping up to be a slow week when it seemed that trying Icelandic yogurt (skyr) was the most exciting thing I did all week. The thrill lay within my lactose intolerance: Is this going to cause gastrointestinal distress? Will it be worth it? (It was delicious.)
Then on Friday night, I started painting the modeling clay tongue that I made earlier in the week. I’d pierced it with two barbells while the clay was still soft. To make painting easier, I removed the jewelry and placed them in one of the wells of my paint tray so that they wouldn’t roll off my adjustable desk. I forgot about this when cleaning up: I dumped the tray in the kitchen sink and washed the leftover paint down the drain, along with the barbells.
I was not high when I did this. Truthfully, I hadn’t realized what I’d done until I was high.
Do you know the saying about how it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown? Well, I’ve figured out an even easier way to smile at people: squint. Squinting your eyes looks indistinguishable from smiling from behind a mask.