Title of my autobiography: “But why?”

When I finally write this autobiography, people will invariably ask, “But why?” And I’d be like, “Exactly.”

So, when a friend confessed that soup was one of his favourite things, I wanted to ask, “But why?” My friend isn’t a senior citizen, nor are his teeth plastic like mine. What kind of Millennial chooses soup as their favourite food?

My favourite food used to be sushi, but since visiting Japan in 2014, I’ve been disgusted by the quality of most of the sushi found here: the rice is often poorly prepared, and restaurants tend to go overboard with the specialty rolls. 2016’s trip to Mexico, thankfully, did not ruin burritos for me, so as long as I’m not in Japan, vegetarian burritos are my ichiban (that’s Japanese for number one).

Now that I’ve got an acrylic sheath over my front teeth, preventing me from biting into food, burritos are no-go. My soup enthusiast friend saw this as the opportunity to defend his favourite meal and loaned me a cookbook containing 65 soup recipes. Along with this book, I also lugged a 10kg tome of assorted recipes to be served on a plate home.

I was ready to give one of the soup recipes a try until I came across this on Reddit. It’s a rice bear sleeping in a beautiful garden of broth:

Rice balled together and arranged inside a bowl to resemble a sleeping bear relaxing in a bowl of broth. The carrots have been cut to resemble cherry blossoms.
Awwwwwwwwww!
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January 9, 2006 Throwback blog post.

Today’s post is going to be as stale as the gingerbread structure that I’m still working on. Ed says he enjoys my vintage posts, and I value his opinion. Except when it comes to the Avid BB7 brake calipers, which are garbage. Silly Briton is silly.

Anyway, this throwback post was written during my original Victoria days, back when I was certifiably poor, and a trip to Starbucks was considered a splurge. My then-roommate, Danica, taught me to embrace kitsch. If you don’t have the funds for tasteful décor, go big and go ugly. We had velvet paintings, an Astroturf rug and matching Astroturf topped coffee table with halved doll heads glued to the sides, a clawfoot bathtub, and a sink decorated with a hula skirt, a gold elephant clock with light-up flowers, and so on.

When Danica moved out, I took over her bedroom, which was actually a den and therefore had no closet, I found myself needing a dresser for my unmentionables. Why’d I taken over this room, then? It was large, had a fireplace, and a private balcony which was illuminated by a red lightbulb. It was my own little red light district, overlooking a tree decorated with baby doll parts.

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My sweet house and incoming Horse.

I was hoping to use my days off to write up a recap of Netflix’s Deaf U, but my laptop had other plans. The lock screen would appear for a fraction of a second before the computer shuts down. It was infuriating, although it also meant I was able to get started on this year’s gingerbread house.

Yes, it’s October. I should be focused on pumpkin spicing things up and eating fun sized-treats spookily; instead, I’m practicing Christmas in October. If supermarkets can do it, so can I.

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