Right before any big trip, a handful of people will ask me these two questions:
- Are you excited?
- Are you all packed?
It’s a resounding YES for the first question. As for the second….
HAHA!
I don’t leave until Sunday (first to Vancouver, then to London on Monday), so yesterday I went for an 18.5km run in the drizzle. The suggested workout by Garmin, aka Lola, was “Long Run: 1:15,” but it felt good to clear my head, and once I decided it was time to loop back home, I was already at the 12km mark. I got home around 5:30pm, leaving me with plenty of time to pack.
Instead, I had to spend some time detangling my hair. Even when I put my hair in a tight braid, it always ends up looking like this after a long run:
Then I needed to eat a lot of food because I’d burned over 1,000 calories. After eating and cleaning up, I lost the motivation to pack and instead played Tears of the Kingdom and read.
This morning, I got sucked back into my book (Grunt by Mary Roach) while eating breakfast. Even though I was on the chapter about severe diarrhea in soldiers, I couldn’t put my toast–or ereader–down. According to Roach, the US military uses repurposed movie studios to train medics on how to cope with the shock and gore of battlefield wounds. The particular studio mentioned in this chapter offers medical simulation equipment, such as a synthetic intestine that one could fill with homemade poop made of oatmeal dyed brown and infused with Liquid Ass. I was rapt.
Once I got through that chapter, I told myself I’d pack… right after finding this guy’s missing eyes:
This side quest had me locate his four eyes, throw each down a chasm, and then dive after it. From the depths, I had to assemble various Zonai vehicles for the purpose of transporting each eye to the Bargainer statue, where I’d then use my Ultrahand ability to levitate the eye and propel it into one of the statue’s empty sockets. I had to do this four times, and it took about an hour because I’m not very good at video games, and I kept dropping the eye.
Ed sent me a screenshot of his phone via WhatsApp:
First, observe the posted temperature: 29 degrees Celsius (84.2º F). The Laura item in question is a Cowichan sweater. Ed made the request months ago, while it was still sweater weather. He wasn’t in a rush to get the sweater and figured I could bring it to London with me.
When I picked up the sweater last week, it barely fit in one of the two panniers I’m planning on taking with me. Instead of figuring out the logistics of hauling a 2.06kg (4.54 pounds. I hope my American readers appreciate my efforts to make these units of measurement accessible) sweater to the ferry terminal on Sunday morning and mashing it into a bike box, I decided I’d just ship it.
I knew it would be expensive. Before approaching the post office counter, I told myself I wouldn’t let the postal worker catch my eyes bugging out at the quote. Even the cheapest option was substantially more than I’d expected: the bugging of eyes ensued.
“Okay… Option A, please.”
“Surface shipping takes 7-14 weeks.”
7 to 14 WEEKS?! Is the sweater going on a world tour? (Kind of, yes.) Since package tracking wasn’t available for this more economical option, the sweater could end up lost at sea during its journey across the Atlantic. To avoid that, I decided to splurge on air mail. As I type this, the package is soaring through the friendly skies in first class.
Ed: “It would be funny if it arrived tomorrow, exactly on the most humid day in UK history.”
It won’t.
With that taken care of, I feel less anxious about packing. I’m also justifying putting off gathering my gear until I do a final load of laundry.
Besides, I spent some time weighing my eyeglass cases on my Park Tool scale (which I’d initially purchased to divvy up 28g/1oz of magic mushrooms).
So, no, this did not count as packing, but it falls under “trip preparation,” as did the five hours I spent sewing a wallet so I wouldn’t have to take my 20-year-old leather wallet (with a zipper that’s been busted for 15 years) just to carry four cards. Okay, I could use a resealable plastic bag, or I could make something cute and further procrastinate packing.
As a bonus, instead of lugging around 123g (4.3oz) to keep four cards together, my DIY wallet weighs in at 42g (1.4oz)! I’ll be thanking myself as I grind up Kolovrat.
Then I wrote this blog post.
Tomorrow, for real, I gotta pack. I have to. If you get a message from me on WhatsApp please say, “Shut the fuck up and pack.”
