I was out the door by 6:30 yesterday morning to get an in-depth analysis of how I’m fucked up. I already knew my internal clock was jammed. I didn’t need the confirmation when I showed up at the specimen collection laboratory five minutes before opening — or so I thought — when I realized it was Sunday. They weren’t open for another 1445 minutes.

I suspect my body might’ve gotten hasty about its descent into middle age and might be experiencing a soft launch into menopause: perimenopause. One of the symptoms of perimenopause is mood swings. I’d been dealing with those monthly for the past 30 years. In fact, aren’t mood swings the mortal coil of womanhood?

Additionally, which specific moods fall under this symptom? Since I’m currently taking a break from work, I generally feel upbeat, with my moments of anger mostly directed at dangerous drivers. It’s the other symptoms that have me wondering if I’ve started perimenopause earlier than expected.

I’ve done surprisingly well with finding serenity in Vancouver. I’m writing this on my phone from Zoée’s flower-packed backyard, surrounded by hundreds of bees. The bees may not be relaxed, but I am.

MO FO! My hair is PINK! That wasn’t supposed to happen! I wanted RED not PINK! Cuz I had it partially bleached, its like 2 inches of dark red on the top and the rest is like rose colored, u know. I’ll get it fixed though. I’ve had all kinds of shitty dye jobs, bleaching and cuts so nothing new for me. It smells like barf too. Screwy. Anyhoo, I finally got the new layout to work. That was yesterday. I started on the new layout like a month ago and had been struggling ever since to get it to work. I FINALLY (WAHOO!) got it to work yesterday and then I got on a roll and spent like 4 hours online. AHH! I’m becoming a geek! I’m already weird, freakish and now I’m a geek! No… According to the ppl in my school, I’m already a geek. Phuck the ppl at my school! I got like 2 pounds of purple playdoh and I want to bring it to school and throw it at all PLUTS! (popular sluts, Fino made that word up. Sluts are already popular anyway, if they weren’t then they couldn’t be sluts.) I love playdoh! It smells so cool! I suck at making it though, it’s all sticky and gooey. Good ammo though. Oooh, I’m going to come up with all kinds of evil things to do to the ppl at my school and when I do, I’ll post stuff on here or wherever it fits in the best on my page. That’s it for May 13.
~Laura