Prompted by my unemployment: I may begin operating on vampire time when gathering groceries from Jim Pattison’s Pantry. It’s not that I’m intimidated by my celery stalker: I find her insufferable to such an extent that I’m willing to go out in weather like this under the cover of night to avoid interacting with her:
I HAVE A PASSION FOR AVOIDING PEOPLE.
Continue reading “There’s even an emoji for that: đź’Ż”I have a comically large pompom atop one of my toques. It’s so big that the pompom-to-toque ratio is nearly 1:1. People have difficulty resisting commenting on it. Small children point at my head. I might’ve even upset someone’s dog yesterday. Had the dog been off-leash, it’d have lunged at me for a taste of whatever critter they thought to be sitting on my head.
I spent the majority of my days off indoors. I finished French knotted the former Miss. Bouiver’s beehive and I am well on the way to completing my second embroidery project. I could finish it this week, except I found myself lying on the floor on Sunday night after smoking a bowl from my wee pipe. While high, I became more conscious of the strain I’d put on my back from hours of sitting on the couch, hunching over my embroidery project.
Continue reading “The pompom that brought a city to its knees.”Less than one week to go to write posts from my drafting table in this spacious living room.
Childhood Halloween costumes:
Maggie was more surprised than she should have been when I revealed that I’d once been a cheerleader. We’d spotted zombie cheerleaders walking down the driveway of a mansion to collect their fun-sized treats when I made this revelation. I meant I’d been a cheerleader for Halloween.
You can be anything for Halloween, except for someone else’s culture.
Sadly, my costume this year was unrecognizable to all but one person. No wonder nobody could guess what I was making based on the photo in the previous blog post.
On October 31st 2021, I went as:
Continue reading “To err is subhuman.”The good news is that I have invested my life savings in a Liberian mining venture!
If this were true, my posts would be more enthralling. I have to use clickbait-y titles like “Moist Dreams” to entice readers so that they can learn that I sleep with a humidifier turned on. I’ve been waking up feeling dewy fresh, and chaste! I need to ask my landlords to show me how to use the cast iron gas stove to warm up the living room; then, I’ll be in Comfort Central. I’ve been doing most of my riding indoors this month anyway.
squaremeat.com 