Smoking gun lamp.

I made the mistake of forgetting to go into Incognito mode when I visited The Bradford Exchange. Now everywhere I go online, ads for The Bradford Exchange trail me.

If you’re not familiar with The Bradford Exchange, it’s a company that makes things exclusively for middle-aged small-town housewives (and their “hubbies”). It’s for people who require that their timepiece be encompassed by no fewer than five eagles. It’s for ladies who want the birthstones of all seven kids crammed onto one ring. It’s for men who idolize Elvis so much that they’d hang an Elvis-shaped wall sculpture featuring a montage of Elvises within the cape. Elvis to the power of Elvis.

An Elvis-shaped wall sculpture in which Elvis is dressed in rhinestone studded bell bottoms and a cape. A montage of three Elvises is printed on the inside of the cape.
Hey, Bradford Exchange: free advertising!
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