Pissing away opportunities.

Last week, I received a mass email from the owner of the bike shop with the subject line “Freakishly Awesome Opportunity.” This FAO was described as “an outdoor experience involving all muscle groups and little neurological activity,” and was set to take place in Shawnigan Lake, a village 50km north of Victoria, on Sunday the 12th. At that time, I was deep into Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None,” which tells the tale of ten strangers–lured by an invitation from a mysterious person–who find themselves marooned on a distant island where they are bumped off one by one.

What peculiar timing! If I had a moustache, I’d have been twirling it. I’ve since finished the book, whose ending was spoiled by its title. After finishing the story, I arrived at the “About the Author” section, in which it is claimed that Agatha Christie is the most widely published author of all time and in any language, outsold only by the Bible and Shakespeare.

I’d be much more pleased to find an Agatha Christie novel in the bedside drawer at the next hotel I stay at than the Bible. Needless to say, I did not end up taking the bait to Shawnigan Lake last Sunday. (The cryptic email, as explained by a colleague today, was to help build a dock at the owner’s vacation home.)

I reserved my distress for Tuesday morning:

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3% failure rate.

A few months before my June 15, 2024 accident I watched the first season of Netflix’s Tour de France Unchained. The first episode revealed that a rider had a horrific accident in 2020 in which he was knocked off balance by another rider while sprinting for the finish line. The rider, Fabio Jakobsen, crashed into the metal barriers at 80km/h, crushing his nose and mouth. In his interviews for the docuseries, he’s already gone through reconstructive surgery and had all “his” teeth. (Graphic–but not bloody–pictures of the work done on his jaw can be seen here.)

On the ambulance ride to the hospital, I remember wiggling my toes and feeling relieved that I probably hadn’t broken anything beyond my teeth. I believed the magic of modern dentistry would take care of me.

It’s been 22 months, and my dental journey is still ongoing. September 11, 2025 was supposed to be my lucky day. Then it got pushed to March 12th. The installation of the final crown didn’t happen then either. Here’s my story:

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I taste dead people.

I work in a basement to afford to rent someone else’s basement.

I can tell when I’m missing out on sunny weather by looking at the rows of glass bricks that wrap around the workshop. It’s still an upgrade from working downtown, where people frequently used the bench outside the patio to smoke a cigarette. I’d step out to use the air compressor to redirect their smoke and annoy them with the noise.

That didn’t work as well as one would expect. I frequently had to shut the door to keep the smoke out, and while this bike shop had windows, they were covered in decals. I’ve yet to see a bike shop that is clean, cozy, and aesthetically pleasing.

Anyway, the daylight hours have extended enough for me to soak up some sunshine after work. Last Sunday, I joined Daniel for his “recovery” ride, as did Rory. I suggested doing some hills around Cadboro Bay, but the waterfront loop Alexa and I did last week seemed more straightforward for my first ride with these guys.

It was a mistake until it wasn’t.

Continue reading “I taste dead people.”