I made pizza tonight (no party to celebrate my success as a pizza chef, though) and used part-skim mozzarella instead of regular. This was a mistake. The leathery layer of cheese smothered the deliciousness of my homemade pizza. I hurt my feelings by producing a pizza fail after hundreds of successes. This is why there was no pizza party tonight.

You may be wondering if I got my bike frame, or you may not care at all. I’m going to see how many people care by forcing you to click through to read the rest of this post:

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