Hot and sticky under the collar.

I set a goal to run a half-marathon (21.2km) by the end of the month. Lola says I’m in my PRIME.

I even purchased a new pair of running shoes last Friday: the Mizuno Wave Rider 29, which I named “Skid Marks” on Strava. One of Strava’s features allows you to track the mileage on your equipment. My three bikes are named Sodapop, Ponyboy, and Cherry Valance. My shoes are called Runny Poos, and now, I have Skid Marks as well.

So far, I have put 5.8km on my Skid Marks, and I can’t do any more for the next bit because I am healing a re-tattoo of my stupid yellow-bellied goose and my underbite-having flying fish.

Continue reading “Hot and sticky under the collar.”

Pissing away opportunities.

Last week, I received a mass email from the owner of the bike shop with the subject line “Freakishly Awesome Opportunity.” This FAO was described as “an outdoor experience involving all muscle groups and little neurological activity,” and was set to take place in Shawnigan Lake, a village 50km north of Victoria, on Sunday the 12th. At that time, I was deep into Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None,” which tells the tale of ten strangers–lured by an invitation from a mysterious person–who find themselves marooned on a distant island where they are bumped off one by one.

What peculiar timing! If I had a moustache, I’d have been twirling it. I’ve since finished the book, whose ending was spoiled by its title. After finishing the story, I arrived at the “About the Author” section, in which it is claimed that Agatha Christie is the most widely published author of all time and in any language, outsold only by the Bible and Shakespeare.

I’d be much more pleased to find an Agatha Christie novel in the bedside drawer at the next hotel I stay at than the Bible. Needless to say, I did not end up taking the bait to Shawnigan Lake last Sunday. (The cryptic email, as explained by a colleague today, was to help build a dock at the owner’s vacation home.)

I reserved my distress for Tuesday morning:

Continue reading “Pissing away opportunities.”

The insatiable Lola.

In case anyone missed it, I’ve named the AI coach that lives in my Garmin Forerunner Lola.

Since my first full day with Lola at my side, March 19, I’ve averaged 19,679 steps a day, which I think is excellent. But she’s gone from asking me to do 10,000 per day to 20,390. At this rate, I’m going to be expected to walk forever by the end of the year.

Besides, once this shitty Smarch weather dies (there was frost this morning… FROST), I’ll switch to cycling as my primary activity. Or golf? Apparently, Lola knows a thing or two about golf.

On the sedentary side of my life, while Kristen continues lapping me on StoryGraph, I’ve finished my second science fiction novel of the year: Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky.

Continue reading “The insatiable Lola.”

Buttmunsch.

This morning, around 7, I found myself in a tug-of-war match with my late mom. We’re both pinching opposite edges of a tiny cookie, pulling it toward ourselves with all our might. The battle ended with me falling backward, empty-handed, as Mom emerged victorious, popping the chocolate snowball cookie into her mouth.

At 7:32am, I open my eyes, and Lola greets me with my morning report, commending me for an excellent sleep score of 92. Thanks for the affirmation, Lola. When it comes to my training regimen, however, she is not as reassuring.

This Monday’s 50-minute workout requires going at full sprint for 8 minutes, repeated three times, with 3-minute recoveries in between! Yesterday’s workout was more manageable, but when my pace slowed on the steep portion of the Chip Trail Loop around Cedar Hill Golf Course, my watch buzzed. I glanced down at Lola:

TOO SLOW

Continue reading “Buttmunsch.”

I think I’ve gone too far.

I finished reading Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow yesterday.

…would have been a neat way to start this post. The truth is, I finished it two days ago and have since been struggling to find my next read. I’m currently sampling Adrian Tchaikovsky’s novel, Children of Time. I’m not sold on it yet. For starters, am I ready for another sci-fi novel so soon after Project Hail Mary? I don’t think there are gonna be aliens doing jazz hands in this one.

Continue reading “I think I’ve gone too far.”