Rainbeaux ²

We Millennials love our double rainbows. Eight people posted their double rainbow picture in the VictoriaBC subreddit within five minutes of it appearing in the sky. The above photo was taken by the roomie, who did not share it with our subreddit community.

He asked me if I thought he should contribute to the spamming of double rainbows. I suggested shaking things up with a post saying, “Did anyone feel that earthquake?” just to fuck with people. (We’ve had several earthquakes over the past few weeks.)

I’d have been more excited for the double rainbow without the constant rain that preceded and followed. The whole city is now afflicted with trench foot.

On the upside, the rain helped rinse off the energy drink I’d somehow punctured as soon as it entered my backpack. Sticky, caffeinated liquid sprayed all over me, my backpack, the self-checkout kiosk, and possibly the staff presiding over the self-checkout corral as I’d taken the machine in front of him. He swiftly took the spraying can out of my hand and ran into the nearby washroom as I stood stunned before the machine. I noticed a stack of paper towels on his counter and started cleaning the screen. Had this happened ten years ago, my face would’ve turned as red as the can. Instead, I was able to shrug it off, grab a new can off the shelf, and walk out of the store and into the rain.

Wetness is the essence of beauty.

I do not feel beautiful right now, and it wasn’t because today was the first dry day the city’s seen in what seemed like weeks. This morning, I rode my bike to my most frequented establishment downtown: the dentist. It had been the longest I’d gone without a visit to the dentist’s office since my accident last June. The titanium posts in my upper jaw needed three months to heal before the crowns could go in. But, first, the dentist needed to take impressions of my mouth.

And that was the appointment: impressions.

I was under the impression it would be a quick, painless appointment.

I became alarmed only when I noticed the lidocaine syringe hovering above my face. I stopped the dentist and typed in my phone, “Why does my mouth need freezing?”

“I need to access the posts.”

Oh, fuck. I got four jabs of lidocaine, including in the dreaded hard palate. The dentist’s assistant put sunglasses on my face, not to make me look cool, but to shield my eyes from the dental lamp. Alas, my head was tilted so far back that the bridge of the sunglasses lifted off my nose. Now, I had to deal with the blinding light and the horrible sensation of the dentist forcing my gums open with an instrument that may or may not have been bladed–I couldn’t see or feel. I was the most terrified of his hand slipping and having the instrument puncture the back of my throat.

Forty minutes later, my smooth, pink gums had been transformed back into a bloody mess and are now studded with healing abutments. In two weeks, the crowns will be added to the abutments. In the meantime, I guess I’m back on the soup and smoothie diet. Just in time for this weekend’s trip to the mainland!

The highlight of my day? Seeing a little kid walk up to the 3′ mascot for the Sour Patch Kids display to feel it before leaning in for a lick. It made me flash a bloody grin.