What’s an aardvark?

Yesterday, my bare legs proclaimed the arrival of spring. Step aside, Fred la marmotte, Laura in shorts: the true herald of spring.

It only counts if I stay in shorts from morning until evening, and yesterday was the big day. The snap peas, radishes, lettuce seeds, and kale starts have been planted in the garden.

Indeed, the weather was also nice enough for a bike ride, yet I opted to go for a run, bringing my one-week total to 72km. What did my Garmin coach, Lola, have to say about this? Nothing, except she decreased my estimated VO₂ Max.

I should care about this exactly as much as you do. Yet, my ego burns.

At the end of yesterday’s run, my left hamstring felt a little off, so I’ve taken a true rest day today.

This allows me to share all the masterpieces from the game, Drawing from Memory. Daniel and Alexa were the first to show up last night. Alexa presented me with a lovely “compensation package,” which she’d previously mentioned contained something handmade.

I feel like I should learn some magic spells. The Blacktongue Thief contains a lot of that: I don’t have a mini-review to share just yet, as I have about 40 more pages to go, but the overall vibe of the story reminds me of The Princess Bride.

While we waited for the other opponents to arrive, the three of us did a warm up round. The first prompt selected from the deck: Horse.

Here’s my 60-second horse:

I could see Alexa and Daniel start to sweat. At that point, Matt and Jenna had shown up and joined in on admiring my minute horse.

Well, I am a former horse girl. 90% of what I drew from the ages of 10 to 12 were horses.

The game does not always reward accuracy, though. It came with a mini deck with secret judge criteria, eg. “The most technically accurate (yet terrifying) and “Most improved from whatever their last monstrosity was.”

The second prompt was: Cow.

If I can hack a horse, then surely I can manage to draw a cow, right? No. I started by outlining a horizontal oval, with two smaller vertical ovals inside to denote nostrils. I’ve only done the nose, and already my cow is a pig? The spirit of the game called for the use of a pen rather than a pencil, so I couldn’t simply erase and start anew. Instead, I tried and failed to redeem my cow drawing by adding eyebrows. Thankfully, nobody else banged out a cow worthy of a woo, and my opponents finally realized my first card was a fluke.

Prompt: Aardvark.

“I got this,” I thought. 15 seconds in, I realize I’ve drawn an armadillo. I asked Daniel, who was the acting judge, “What’s an aardvark?”

My attempt to cheat was met with the worst hint, ever. “Like Arthur.”

“Arthur is an aardvark?!”

Well, if it has fur, I can somewhat save it:

I was not the only person to confuse an aardvark with an armadillo:

I’ll take this opportunity to mention that I’ve seen an armadillo in the wild. Also, I have never seen a full episode of Arthur. Everything I know about this cartoon, I’ve learned from Daniel.

Prompt: Gromit from Wallace and Gromit.

Oh, I’ve seen Wallace and Gromit shorts. I got this.

Oh, shit. Gromit is the dog.

Jenna had the right idea.

Rather, Jenna’s sketch had the right idea.

This was voted the ultimate sketch of the night. It’s been 24 hours, and I still giggle when I look at it. It’s found a home on my fridge. Nicely done, Jenna!

Prompt: Mermaid.

I’m not sure who brought up the fact that her sagging boobs didn’t make sense, as gravity is less of a factor underwater. I pointed out that it looked like a mermaid from the National Enquirer.

Prompt: Ostrich.

This was close to being voted the best drawing of the night. The lower half embodies grace and almost detracts from its head. Almost.

Prompt: Ermahgerd Gersberms!

This game requires a solid knowledge of various memes. I was the judge this round, and Daniel was the only person to nail it:

Prompt: Golden Gate Bridge.

This is another piece of evidence that the game does not always favour those with artistic talent. Alexa was responsible for the dynamic ostrich sketch. Alexa also has no idea what the Golden Gate Bridge looks like. Had we been playing Pictionary, I don’t think any of us would have recognized this as a bridge.

Prompt: Steve Buscemi.

Another gem from Alexa. I hope she returns soon to finish Steve’s other arm because I unironically love this depiction: Scribble Steve is almost as sexy as my new candle.

If only I could dispatch blog posts as fast as I can whip up an anatomically correct drawing of a horse. Alas, Lola is telling me to “engage in relaxing and low intensity activity before bedtime, such as yoga, meditation, or guided breathing (aren’t they all the same thing?) to improve sleep quality.

Perhaps the ending of The Blacktongue Thief will infuse some magic into my Sleep Score.