Author: Lkvy

I'm a Deaf vagabond currently living on Vancouver Island. Bicycles dominate my life, but I also make time for climbing, hiking, camping, and cats. And if I have time left over after all that, I write about it.

Naturally creepy. (Plus a mini Throwback blog post from Jan 25, 2012.)

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

Ok, Bezos, you win. I’ve upcycled one of #304’s empty Amazon boxes as a bedside table. I get to roll out of my bed without injuring myself for a week as my bed frame was disassembled and moved to my future home on Tuesday.

I sleep a safe 11″ off the floor. I can make do with this for a few nights. The camp chair as a couch situation, however, is getting old. Every time I go camping with this chair hereon, I will have indoor memories associated with it. I’ve sullied my camp chair by turning it into makeshift living room furniture for a month. Yup.

I was supposed to have the day off yesterday to do fun things like clean the oven. Instead, my boss summoned me to work. It was a bike shop shift, which I haven’t gotten many of since October. Getting paid to work on bikes seemed like a more pleasant alternative to huffing oven cleaner fumes.

I have today off to prep the place for the next tenant. I’m going to hide messages of encouragement everywhere so that they can be like, “Awww… but also creepy.”

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU IN CASE NO ONE HAS.

Tomorrow, I get my new teeth installed, or, if you prefer, the more regal version: get my teeth crowned. I’ll get to bite into food again, but with much apprehension now that they have a price tag attached to them.

I forgot to bring a fork and knife to work for my leftover pizza, so I had to shred it into small bits with my hands like a raccoon. Nobody else was in the break room while I did this, nor did anyone walk in on me doing this. Otherwise, I would have an obligation to explain that my teeth are plastic, effectively making myself seem more insane than initially suspected.

Besides, when I tell people I have plastic teeth, they probably recall the scene in Dennis the Menace where he breaks Mr. Wilson’s dentures and swaps the front teeth for Chiclets.

The late Walter Matthau as Mr. Wilson grinning. The two front teeth have been swapped for Chiclets.
Or not. This movie wasn’t popular.

In truth, they look normal. Disappointingly ordinary, even. Only when you see me eat will you know something isn’t right.

As for today’s mini Throwback post: My blog posts were more frequent but often less fleshed out, and this one is an example of that.

Continue reading “Naturally creepy. (Plus a mini Throwback blog post from Jan 25, 2012.)” →

Boiling mad.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

Hello friends and assorted readers.

In accordance with the updated covid protocols, the communal coffee machine and kettle have disappeared from work, leaving us to scramble for a new hot morning beverage source. My solution was to spend $40 on the largest insulated bottle I could find, 1.2L, to tote boiled water from home because I prefer to do all my teabagging at work.

On the left is a tall black flask decorated with a Krampus head sticker. Krampus has its long tongue out. In the middle is a double-walled stainless steel camp mug labelled LKVY and a sticker with an illustration of a tired cat drinking out of a mug. On the right is a nondescript espresso cup holding a discarded teabag.
My latest functionality requirements.

My desperation as a habitual tea drinker rivals that of coffee drinkers. At least I thought so until I found out that someone brought their camp stove so that they could heat some water for their Aeropresso in the loading bay. What did upper management think would happen? Or was this Bonnie Henry’s suggestion?

A poorly manipulated image showing Bonnie Henry "holding" a stainless steel electric kettle. The caption reads: "Flatten the curve: ditch the kettle."
Continue reading “Boiling mad.” →

Title of my autobiography: “But why?”

~ Lkvy ~ 5 Comments

When I finally write this autobiography, people will invariably ask, “But why?” And I’d be like, “Exactly.”

So, when a friend confessed that soup was one of his favourite things, I wanted to ask, “But why?” My friend isn’t a senior citizen, nor are his teeth plastic like mine. What kind of Millennial chooses soup as their favourite food?

My favourite food used to be sushi, but since visiting Japan in 2014, I’ve been disgusted by the quality of most of the sushi found here: the rice is often poorly prepared, and restaurants tend to go overboard with the specialty rolls. 2016’s trip to Mexico, thankfully, did not ruin burritos for me, so as long as I’m not in Japan, vegetarian burritos are my ichiban (that’s Japanese for number one).

Now that I’ve got an acrylic sheath over my front teeth, preventing me from biting into food, burritos are no-go. My soup enthusiast friend saw this as the opportunity to defend his favourite meal and loaned me a cookbook containing 65 soup recipes. Along with this book, I also lugged a 10kg tome of assorted recipes to be served on a plate home.

I was ready to give one of the soup recipes a try until I came across this on Reddit. It’s a rice bear sleeping in a beautiful garden of broth:

Rice balled together and arranged inside a bowl to resemble a sleeping bear relaxing in a bowl of broth. The carrots have been cut to resemble cherry blossoms.
Awwwwwwwwww!
Continue reading “Title of my autobiography: “But why?”” →

Writing about writing.

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

Grieving is draining. I’ve been trying assorted distractions, mostly from the comfort of my camping chair. On Sunday night, I started on a new episode of Season 8 of Wentworth before deciding that it was too intense, so I switched to Avatar: The Last Airbender. When I couldn’t focus on the storyline, despite it being aimed at preteens, I switched to some garbage videos on YouTube. When that didn’t do the trick, I went to bed. It wasn’t even 10 pm.

Before I continue this post, I want to thank those who checked in with me after reading my last post. It made me feel supported. For future reference, I can also be reached at squaremeat at gmail or lkvy at hotmail. Yes, I can be trusted to transfer large amounts of money into an overseas bank account.

So, I still compose personal emails because I’m old fashioned. Last night, I took it a step further by breaking out the stationery and gel pens:

Sheets of stationery paper with "Hello old pal... old pen pal..." written in purple ink. The text printed on the stationery reads: Purple tears. The jewel of the shape of tears shines very much."
Continue reading “Writing about writing.” →