Riding the Horse on the Goose.

My latest carrot acquisition:

Chode.

Its girthiness is typical of that carrot variety (Kuroda, maybe?), but I’m easily impressed these days. With the latest travel restrictions, my world is limited to eating, sleeping, and playing on the island. But my interest in oversized vegetables started when Zoée shared with me a video featuring her friend’s butternut squash. Zoée did an artful slow pan of the seemingly never-ending squash, which was at least five feet long…. maybe ten? I was already shocked by its length when I realized that I was only halfway through the video. I was inspired to look up vegetable world records.

There, I found my new dad:

Continue reading “Riding the Horse on the Goose.”

Smoking gun lamp.

I made the mistake of forgetting to go into Incognito mode when I visited The Bradford Exchange. Now everywhere I go online, ads for The Bradford Exchange trail me.

If you’re not familiar with The Bradford Exchange, it’s a company that makes things exclusively for middle-aged small-town housewives (and their “hubbies”). It’s for people who require that their timepiece be encompassed by no fewer than five eagles. It’s for ladies who want the birthstones of all seven kids crammed onto one ring. It’s for men who idolize Elvis so much that they’d hang an Elvis-shaped wall sculpture featuring a montage of Elvises within the cape. Elvis to the power of Elvis.

An Elvis-shaped wall sculpture in which Elvis is dressed in rhinestone studded bell bottoms and a cape. A montage of three Elvises is printed on the inside of the cape.
Hey, Bradford Exchange: free advertising!
Continue reading “Smoking gun lamp.”

Good Friday, Easter Monday, and Okay Wednesday.

Companies not affiliated with Jesus or eggs should not be allowed to hold Easter sales.

If you’ve come here for financial advice (I know… I know…): ignore sales, specials, blowouts, or two-for-ones. Sales don’t exist to save you money: they exist to make the company more money. If you buy something only when it goes on sale, then you don’t need it.

My neighbour did not need this:

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I guess external Easter decorations are a thing now.

As long as they did not buy the inflatable bunny because it was on sale, I won’t yuck their yum.

For a deaf lady, I sure give sound financial advice! The biggest purchase I’ve made since my last post was this:

Continue reading “Good Friday, Easter Monday, and Okay Wednesday.”

Not funny.

Yesterday, no joke, I got the print I ordered two months ago. I bought it to hang in the bathroom. Again, not joking. It’s by Ugly Ink, who does beautiful illustrations of ugly characters. His original work is surprisingly affordable, but I don’t mind buying open editions. I buy what I like.

A colour illustration of three characters inside a black frame. The characters are presented as a math formula: pig plus bee equals pee.
It’s in a frame so I’m still a classy lady!
Continue reading “Not funny.”

Unsinkable dreamboat.

I’m back in the bike shop, but only part-time. The other part is spent restocking the store, and a small portion of that is spent in the bike shop–but only to make my tea. I was in tea brewing mode when I noticed a BMX bike parked at the end of the racks and thought, “Interesting, we rarely work on these.”

And we won’t have to because right there and then, a guy entered the shop from the outside carrying a plate of pancakes and a fork in one hand, grabs the bike with his free hand, and walks right out without saying a word.

I glanced over at another mechanic standing at the other end of the room; he also looked at me to acknowledge that he’d seen what I’d just seen. For a few seconds, we processed the situation before we started laughing. (Note: Pancake guy had left his bike in our care so that he could “purchase a bike lock.”) As absurd as the moment was, it was also quintessentially Victoria.

Continue reading “Unsinkable dreamboat.”