Category: Vancouver

Come for cookies.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

I guess I’m going to start providing monthly updates on the ambient lighting at chez Zoée. Last Saturday, in an effort to make their living space more crafting-friendly for their nyctalopic (yes, I just learnt this word) pal, Zoée hung an extra lightbulb above the couch and urged me to take the corner space.

Before I left for the mainland last Friday, my lighting technician encouraged me to bring a crafting project to work on, as they were on a roll with their first-ever knitting project: a sweater.

Yes, a sweater!

When I got into knitting a decade ago, I would never have ventured to make a sweater, even after completing five toques and a scarf. Choosing a sweater as a first knitting project seems completely insane to me, but Zoée seems to be managing it well.

For our enchanted evening of entanglement, I packed two skeins of yarn. Rather than knit yet another toque, I wielded a crocheting hook to form the cap portion of my mushroom guy. Not only can Zoée make a sweater in a dimly lit room, but they can also follow the plot of Bridgerton while doing so. The only scene I caught was Daphne experiencing her first post-nut clarity.

I’d paid for my ride and lodging with jizz cookies and egg salad sandwiches.

Continue reading “Come for cookies.” →

Assload of asses.

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

It’s not a good year for calendars.

2022 was the year of Peter Glazebrook.

2023’s calendar was a Where’s Waldo knockoff.

Moons were the star in 2024.

2025 featured axolotls.

December’s axolotl still adorns the wall next to the fridge. A week into 2026, I walked into Russel Books, expecting to buy a calendar at half price, just like I had the previous year, only to learn that the procrastinator’s discount had turned into a BOGO deal. When the cashier explained that I could grab a second calendar for “free”, I declined on the basis that I wasn’t leading a double life and begrudgingly paid full price for 12 large pictures of axolotls. This calendar turned out to be a dud. Instead of the weekend sandwiching the weekdays as usual, both weekends appeared as the last two columns, resulting in a year of showing up for appointments a day early and premature birthday greetings.

This year, Russel’s selection was limited to dog breeds and the works of Gustav Klimt, all at full price. BOGO was no go.

Whatever. I have a printer: there’s no need to limit myself to just one breed of dog for a whole year. I could transform every weekday into a Saturday or Sunday, which has become my reality as an unemployed person, not that I haven’t been keeping busy with personal projects, reading lists, and fitness ambitions.

The aspect of my life that has suffered the most during this sabbatical has been my social life. So, when Zoée left to be with her other chosen family on the 27th, I scrambled to make plans with the few folks I knew who hadn’t skipped town for the holidays, including my actual family.

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A run gone foul.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

I’m opening this post with another seagull picture. It was refreshing to observe a kid who hasn’t lost a sense of awe towards the natural world. I was also tickled, as was the seagull, by the kid’s excellent fashion sense.

So, you like seagulls, kid? Wait until one of them steals your breaded oyster burger or shits on you, both of which I’ve experienced.

Life’s full of disappointments, and seagulls are one of them.

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Last year.

~ Lkvy ~ Leave a comment

This feathered sentinel spent the better part of an hour examining weary travellers behind the glass doors that separate the passenger area of berth 5 from the outdoor deck. Most of us humans were sitting around, eyes locked on our phone screens. Two guys in their early 20s went outside and traded turns looking out at sea wistfully while the other took pictures. Both went inside immediately after their photoshoot to upload their artificially contemplative snapshots to the ‘gram. Witnessing this mini-photoshoot unfold amused me more than seeing a similar photo crop up on my* Instagram feed.

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There’s even an emoji for that: 💯

~ Lkvy ~ 1 Comment

Prompted by my unemployment: I may begin operating on vampire time when gathering groceries from Jim Pattison’s Pantry. It’s not that I’m intimidated by my celery stalker: I find her insufferable to such an extent that I’m willing to go out in weather like this under the cover of night to avoid interacting with her:

I HAVE A PASSION FOR AVOIDING PEOPLE.

Continue reading “There’s even an emoji for that: 💯” →