The Anals of Time.

Last year, I put together twelve photos of Peter Glazebrook and sent them to London Drugs to be coiled together. His jovial expressions as he presented the grandest of gigantic produce were meant to inspire a superb 2022.

Eh. He tried.

I tried.

I recall it taking about three weeks for that calendar to arrive, so I didn’t receive it until almost February. Without much time to spare and knowing I could pick up any calendar for 50% off at Russels Books, I went with a Where’s Waldo knockoff. Maybe instead of spending 2023 searching for meaning in my life, I could look for Yeti.

When I peeled off the plastic cover and leafed through all the months, I realized I’d inadvertently chosen an Anglocentric calendar. This calendar is whiter than Victoria. It’s far easier to find mythological creatures than POC.

I didn’t expect this calendar to be morally challenging. Oh well. There’s always next year.

There was also the matter of updating the calendar in the bike shop. Even though January had arrived with December’s squirrel model still hanging above the shop computer, I thought it’d be fun to create a custom calendar. I ordered through Shoppers Photo Canada this time and received the calendar by mail in about a week, whereas London Drugs made me collect the Peter Glazebrook calendar from one of their stores. Unlike London Drugs, Shoppers has the option of starting the calendar with any month.

Similarly to the calendar I chose for home use, this one entirely lacks POC. From Feb to Jan 2024, we in the bike shop will get to look at one or more photos of the same white guy, Nate Burger (of pocket cheese fame).

When I handed him the calendar, I told him it was for him, but we (shop folks) were hoping he’d let us hang it in the shop. He was thrilled and posted a video of the calendar to his Instagram later that night. A bunch of his followers asked if they could buy a print. One person even asked for two copies!

Although I was willing to produce more prints as the project was still saved on my Shoppers Photo account, it doesn’t look like anyone was sincere enough to shell out the $35.

As Nate officially became a mechanic, he has been filling in for me while I mope at home. My leave of absence continues until February 20th. I’ve been feeling more stable but still lacking in motivation. I haven’t done much with my free time beyond using the trainer for 5-6 hours a week. I tried correcting my sluggish mental pace by deleting the Reddit app from my phone about a week ago.

I noticed when I fled Twitter 2-3 years ago; I spent more time on Instagram. Then, when I deleted Insta, I moved on to Reddit. So, it’s not specifically social media ruining me: I’m addicted to cerebral junk food. Now I instead watch more TV. Chernobyl, Yellowjacket, King of the Hill, The Simpsons, Deadwood, and RuPaul’s Drag Race are some of the shows that have occupied me during my LOA.

I understand that staying physically active comes naturally, as I already had the habit. Now, I need to re-train my brain to produce rather than consume. Shit, the very act of writing this post was a feat. I feel like I’ve turned into a dumb jock.

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