Exposing others to my pointlessness.

I’ve come to realize that there must be many couples who are not coping with the pandemic well.

For Yann and me, we went from spending 95% of the time together to 100: not a big jump. Before this, we spent three years working together in a small room, then coming back to our small apartment later in the day.

We’ve spent so many hours together that small talk routinely appear out of nowhere. By we, I mean me. Yann either doesn’t have the urge to share every random thought that pops in his head, or his mind isn’t as chaotic as mine.

Google could answer most of the questions I ask. But, it’s fun to analyze how he answers even though most of the time, it’s a non-committal, “Maybe.” 

For example, have you ever wondered how much secondhand pipe organs cost? I have! Did you know that there’s a website specifically for the resale of pipe organs? Now you do.

Wow, hearing people aren’t appreciative enough of the sounds that are available to them, they needed to build something this ornate.

Then after watching our cat Enfoiré–who has already mowed his belly bald–lick a spot on his shoulder aggressively for ten minutes, I wondered out loud: “What happens if he goes bald everywhere except for the spots he’s unable to reach? His fur would be in the shape of a cape.”

The question common folks have been asking me the most these days is, “What do you look forward to doing after most restrictions have been lifted?” Everything I’ve always looked forward to doing in the summer: climbing, camping, and hiking. Nothing involving a large gathering of people.

I guess all those extroverted fucks are looking forward to their music festivals and running on the streets with thousands of other people.

I’m grateful we got to skip the irony of celebrating Earth Day with balloons and fireworks this year.

Once this subsides, people will be running to tattoo shops to get a Covid-19 related tattoo. I AM CALLING IT NOW. Not me, of course. I wanted to commemorate this historical moment by framing the infographic from the Public Health Agency of Canada that was mailed to us until we spilled some sort of liquid on it. If anybody has a fresh sheet that they don’t plan on keeping, please send it to me!

If I ever have someone new over, I can point to the framed infographic and go, “I survived this.” Then they’d be like, “So did I.” To that, I’d answer, “I guess we have something in common!”

Know what else I’ve been finding puzzling? How all these people are going viral for doing weird stuff to their hair. Umm… hello? I’m a pioneer of weird hair, and it’s never gotten me any followers.

Note the pool cue in the background leaning against the bookshelf? You probably couldn’t tell they were pool cues, but anyway, they aren’t there because I was once an 18-year-old pool fanatic. I was sawing them into 1/2″ sections and selling them online as ear jewelry.

And, yes, on my shirt is the old logo for Prowler campers:

So, for me, there’s no hope of normal ever returning. I’ll be continuing my everlasting quest for an interesting life!