Millennials or older, do you remember how jogging was a hobby in the 1990s? Now nobody jogs anymore: they RUN.
Soon to come in 2030: sprinters, gallopers, and going to hell for leather…ers.
This is not a revelation of my newest hobby. I’m still hyped about the slow art of embroidery. Last night, I learned how to do French Knots and thought, “Oh, I will do this entire section in French Knots!” So far, I’ve French knotted a surface measuring 1.5″x1.5″, and it’s taken me at least five hours.
Last week, I got my dental regalia reinstalled. It took the dentist about five minutes, and I was charged $20. Not bad. The original purpose of this appointment was to check out the site of my implants. The weird bump at the roof of my mouth is gone. However, tooth #22 is loose and needs to be replaced with an implant.
In the meantime, I shall make the most of my ability to chew food. With two missing front teeth, I can’t bite into stuff, but I can chew! I had tuna melts for the first time in six months tonight. Cut up into fun-sized pieces.
Jordi got excited when he spotted a large bag of Love Crunch granola on my pantry shelf. If you remember the original “incident,” Nature’s Path mailed me a coupon to apologize for the time they withheld chocolate bits from my bag of dark chocolate and red berries granola. The coupon arrived when I smashed my mouth and could only eat through a straw for a month. I just redeemed it because the coupon was about to expire.
The bag itself has a Best Before date of October 2025. I am confident I’ll be able to crunch on red berries AND dark chocolate lovingly before then.
Jordi also had things to say about my new (old) book:
(I purchased this book on my way home from last week’s visit to the dentist’s office. I’m not merely jumping from one unrelated topic to the next.)
He flipped to the back of the book to check out the author’s photo on the book jacket. Presenting… Ms. Melinda Coss:
He was amused by how she fit his idea of a lady who wrote a 200-page book on embroidery.
“Is she British?” he said accusingly.
“I don’t know. Wiki her or something.”
“She probably doesn’t have a Wiki page.”
He was right: a Wiki page on Melinda Coss doesn’t exist. (Yet, one of the guys at work has a Wiki page. Ms. Coss needs to step up her game.)
We scanned for hints of Britishness among the beginning pages. “Collins & Brown: That’s not a British publisher.”
I defended my purchase, explaining how I’d chosen this book despite its un-Britishness and ugly projects: it has clear diagrams of how to do every possible embroidery stitch.
From the Knotted Faggot Stitch (1996 was the date of the book’s publication):
To Armenian Edging, which I imagine is now a Pornhub subcategory.
A lot has changed since 1996. Since then, hipsters have hijacked old lady crafts. The projects in those modern crafting books are more appealing, but it was Melinda Coss who bestowed me with the ability to make thousands of French knots.
No word on whether she’s British.
squaremeat.com 